Nice Parenting! (7)

Children, like adults, fight fiercely when their freedom is threatened. Wow! This is interesting! How dare kids fight other guys five times their age! Children then, sense the world around them, they couldn’t start fighting themselves, but on condition that they are cornered, they fight like a mad dog. Children, of course, are typically like adults, they evaluate any situation they are in, and then they set the decisions that they think they are right. So, kids fight fiercely in a tit for tat situations, they don’t let guys go with it; they will get their revenge soon and not to put it off until later.
It’s a lesson for us gentlemen. We have to respect child’s rights and freedom; we have to allow them some sort of independence but still with some sort of control. It is really a paradoxical matter, since it links both extremes; independence and control! How is that? Wise parents succeed in balancing the two scales of the equation, they allow independence, but they still hold firmly in controlling the situations. This is in fact, nice parenting. It’s pulling and releasing; gripping Muawyia’s hair.
How does a parent put all of this together? Should we let go or hold on? Give kids independence or exercise control? The answer, of course, is that children need both .They need both independence and control throughout their development, from toddle – hood right through the teenage .That is a key principle of parenting.
Why isn’t independence enough? It’s not enough, because a child isn’t an adult yet. Neither are teenagers, even though they may stand taller than you. They are still at immature stages in their development. Thus they are in need of our partial attention and high care. Parenting then needs balancing these two extremes, and take medium ways; that is to say, independence and control simultaneously. Independence is important since it allows some room of freedom to teenagers, and at the same time they need their matters to be somehow controlled.
Why isn’t control enough? Because kids are persons with rights and a point of view that we must respect, and they learn to make choices by having choices. They don’t become problem-solvers unless they have a chance to rely on their own recourses and solve their own problems. Because the ultimate goal of all our parenting is not to control our children, but to help them become mature adults who can make their own decisions and lead their lives themselves.
Parenting then isn’t a piece of cake; on the contrary, it might be ember. It needs much care of both agreeing parents, and they have to straighten the way for their kids. The parents are then highly recommended to closely study and indulge in educational books and references so that they could get the lesson, and they could deal accordingly with their children. But turning back into our Islamic culture, one could ask: Why does our religion order us talk solemnly to our kids when they are seven, as concerning the issue of prayers, and that we have to lash them at ten? Can we consider this as a matter of independence and control? I think so! This is in my opinion.

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